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this website is not owned by the Highways Agency. This site is unofficial and features the views of Traffic Officers which are their own personal opinions and personal views only. |
 what is it about the black liquid that captures our Guinness Man so deep to the core?
just how did Guinness Man become lured to the dark side? Legend has it that it was one rainy bitterly cold winter night that saw the man himself enter premises of ill repute colloquially known as "his local"
what happened next has been passed down from outstation to outstation and cannot be totally confirmed even with the massive research capabilities of RCC
but with what has been cobbled together from outstation overheard snippets of third hand conversations and scribblings from toilet walls it is almost totally possible that Guinness Man met up with an old friend - a big black bushy beard has been spoken of twice now - so unless it was a fake |
Guinness Man – Sunday 1.4.07
Guinness Man: is that falkor?
falkor: it's falkor here, have you been trying to get through? 
Guinness Man: yeah just a couple of times but these things happen don't they?
falkor: my missus left the phone off the hook upstairs for 2 hours
Guinness Man: oh well
falkor: she was speaking to her mother [laughing]
Guinness Man: hopefully you weren't paying
falkor: [laughing] and another bloke was supposed to ring me at 3 o'clock you know
Guinness Man: ah right
falkor: and I said to my missus this is the first one that hasn't phoned through out of eleven interviews
Guinness Man: and I'm the second one
falkor: [laughing] I thought "I don't believe this" then of course when it got to dead on 4 o'clock I thought "what's
going on?" so I picked the phone up and there was like an empty sound - there was no dialling tone - I thought "oh my god"
and I went upstairs and my missus had been on the phone two hours ago to her mum and of course she never put it back
properly [laughing] so I'm sorry about that
Guinness Man: not to worry, no problems
falkor: you've been on some police rideons haven't you GM?
Guinness Man: yeah I've had one or two
falkor: how did that happen then?
Guinness Man: they were arranged by my supervisor
falkor: that is pretty good isn't it?
Guinness Man: yeah I thought so. I like my supervisor I think he's one of the better ones
falkor: have plenty of other Traffic Officers at your outstation had that as well then?
Guinness Man: nearly every one to a man, they've all been offered it but you can't make people do it
Guinness Man: I think the majority of people if not all of them have been out on police rideons with a couple of police forces that's Essex and Cambridge
Guinness Man: I've also been out with the ISU - that obviously isn't quite the same, but it's still informative
falkor: ISUs?
Guinness Man: incident support units
falkor: incident support units?
Guinness Man: Carillian guys they provide hard closures etc under chapter 8 regs
falkor: do they wear a uniform?
Guinness Man: they wear hi viz tops and trousers
falkor: what sort of vehicles do they ride around in?
Guinness Man: transit vans
falkor: are they marked up?
Guinness Man: yes they're liveried up just like Highways Agency vehicles except they are yellow and red battenburg
falkor: can you just run me through what they're supposed to do GM?
Guinness Man: they do chapter 8 type traffic management providing closures of all kinds lanes etc, their cones are the big 750mm jobs, their signs are on the big metal frames so are more visible
falkor: thanks very much for that because I've often seen ISU on the forums and thought I've got to ask somebody one day what the heck it means
and BDV's another one that always gets me
Guinness Man: broken down vehicle
falkor: oh no [laughing] they're simple when you know how
Guinness Man: yeah it's just quicker on the airwaves
falkor: there's another one that you mentioned the other day GM, T.O grade assessors which you say you've got at your outstation
Guinness Man: Traffic Officer grade assessors
falkor: what do they do then?
Guinness Man: they assess other Traffic Officers
falkor: but they're not supervisors?
Guinness Man: no but initially I think the email came out - it was aimed at supervisors I think, but I think that was a misrepresentation of
what was actually required and then it was opened up to the floor as it were and several people, well there's two going
away actually on a course tomorrow and that will bring us up to three assessors at our outstation
Guinness Man: we've already got one assessor on our outstation and I know there's others at Dartford and South Mimms
falkor: is it a good idea?
Guinness Man: I think so yeah, they're using several training organisations - they've used Junction 17 and there was one other we
used and I can't remember for the life of me what the name of it was now but because they're quite big organisations you get a
variation and you've got no control over what they're teaching you - you know they've got an itinerary from the HA - but they all have
their own styles and they all comes from different police forces and as you know ... police forces all work slightly
differently - so their training tends to be slightly different but I think bringing it in inhouse it should standardise it
more because it will be all HA, everyone's will be assessed by the HA
falkor: you could be badly assessed
falkor: couldn't you?
Guinness Man: you could be but to be honest the type of people who are in the Traffic Officer service don't sit back and take crap also its not pass or fail you either reach the required standard or you get further training to get you there.
falkor: have you been assessed then GM?
Guinness Man: I was assessed by a Junction 17
falkor: at what stage does it happen?
Guinness Man: that was within 3 months of starting
Guinness Man: I would guess at some point we would all be reassessed I would have thought to make sure that we're not forgetting what
we've been taught, stuff like that. I've been doing this now for quite some time and I have not been reassessed but I have
been out crewed with an assessor - whether he's doing an unofficial little look at me I don't know
falkor: my god really?
Guinness Man: its not a problem
Guinness Man: we were working live really right from the word go even though we hadn't been designated
falkor: so when you get assessed he turns round to you and says "Oh you're a Grade B or a Grade C" does he?
Guinness Man: no no no you're assessed on the various disciplines for want of a better word .... y'know how are your reactions on the motorway trafifc management knowledge of procedures
falkor: [interrupting] can you appeal against that decision?
Guinness Man: I would imagine that if you're not happy you're going to say that you're not happy. He puts some words on the form - you put some words on the form
falkor: is there any objectives in that? does he turn around to you and say "oh you've got 3 objectives" anything like that? or not?
Guinness Man: you can call them objectives - he will say "oh I think you need to work on this" or "you need to work on that" and
then later on in the week he'll revisit that if the opportunity arises he'll see how you're doing that time, so I would say yes to that
falkor: waking up drivers, you've done a few of those in your time haven't you GM?
Guinness Man: [laughing] oh yes
falkor: you got any good ones?
Guinness Man: well I had one I couldn't wake up for ages
falkor: really?
Guinness Man: yeah even gave him the panther light in the face, it's quite a powerful light - what with that and banging on the window and the roof brought 'em round
falkor: but if you're going to be waking up drivers there's got to be two traffic officers there hasn't there? you can't
do that on your own
Guinness Man: no you're always part of a team although I have been out on my own once when I was acting TRA
Guinness Man: but it depends how confident you are I guess and plus I'm quite a big guy anyway
falkor: the only situation I can think of where a Traffic Officer would be called upon to do that is where you see an "abandoned"
car on the hard shoulder and there's a driver in there, is there anything else outside that?
Guinness Man: not really. Occasionally you can see someone's asleep in a car but then there are other times when you drive by on the opposite
carriageway and you can't see anyone and you assume it's abandoned and then on your way back up you stop with it and discover
that there's a person or persons asleep. sometimes it's a job to tell really whether they're abandoned or not until you've
actually visited them
falkor: true. It's just made me think actually, there's quite a lot of motorway service stations in and around the motorways
that HA are patrolling, do Traffic Officers ever get called to motorway services to help out or not?
Guinness Man: we're not actually called to the service areas as such but we do patrol them, we do have a ride round the car park
and the lorry parks, mainly at night really when it's dark because that's when you're going to find things I guess but
mainly you might have a drive through once during the day
falkor: you do see a lot of staff in those motorway service stations that have got radios, are they able to radio through
to you and call you or not?
Guinness Man: no not that I'm aware of no
falkor: they can't do that?
Guinness Man: no
falkor: so that's why they're not calling you then I suppose
Guinness Man: at one of our service stations there's a PCSO there almost permanently anyway
falkor: yeah I think I met him once
Guinness Man: her
falkor: HER? oh well but I think they're doing that more and more. I've been to a few motorway service stations where you
see a sign as you enter the actual sliproad "PCSO on duty at these services" or something like that
Guinness Man: yes they have a little office that they're given and there's a presence there pretty much all of the time
falkor: GM you've got a caravan of your own haven't you?
Guinness Man: yes I have
falkor: have you had that for a long time?
Guinness Man: yeah I've been caravanning since the late 80s
falkor: is it just you and your missus?
Guinness Man: it is now, the kids have grown up and I dare say will try borrowing it in years to come and be told where to go
falkor: [laughing] but you used to take the kids on there
Guinness Man: yeah
falkor: because I did that with my 2 kids - I didn't have a caravan I had a Sherpa caravanette, I absolutely loved it
falkor: so is it Scotland you go to? any favourite destinations?
Guinness Man: I've been to Scotland. I like Holland and I like Belgium and I love the Dordoyne area of France
falkor: it must be a bit tricky though when you've got to go on the wrong side of the road because you're sitting on the
wrong side of the car then
Guinness Man: not at all
falkor: no? no difference?
Guinness Man: no, again it's if you're confident. obviously if you weren't confident you wouldn't do it I guess
falkor: but if you compare going to Scotland to going to Holland GM the immediate difference that I can see there is the
language barrier. At least in Scotland you can understand everybody
Guinness Man: I don't know about that [laughing]
falkor: [laughing]
Guinness Man: [laughing] I think we're fortunate because most people speak english or some english and even if you've got to draw
little pictures or point you make yourself understood and it's part of the experience anyway
falkor: did you see any dykes?
Guinness Man: yeah
falkor: you did?
Guinness Man: yeah
falkor: you had your finger ready?
Guinness Man: I did yeah
falkor: whereabouts in Scotland?
Guinness Man: Oban
Guinness Man: I've only been once and that was a couple of years ago, it's not a place for children I don't think because of the potentially bad weather
falkor: as long as you've got the weather up there you're on a winner
Guinness Man: I couldn't believe it, we went expecting rain, rain and rain and I think we had rain once for about 2½ hours
Guinness Man: the rest of the time it was shirt sleeves and mid 60s to 70s
falkor: if you get that you're away aren't you
Guinness Man: it was really marvellous and we didn't get any midges
falkor: I was gonna mention that because if you're anywhere near water up there you normally get a flippin havoc load don't you
Guinness Man: well we were right on the coast - the actual site I should think we were 75 yards from the beach
falkor: well if you go on these sites nowadays they've got showers they've got activities they've got shops haven't they?
falkor: have you been to any National Trust sites at all GM?
Guinness Man: not National Trust no, I'm a National Trust member but no
falkor: they've got caravan sites!
Guinness Man: I didn't realise that
falkor: I went down to one, Devon I think it was and the bloke in charge of the caravan site there
got everybody doing tug of war and games and that, if you were in the campsite in the day he'd organise you to do something!
there were horses there, stables, showers a shop
falkor: have you come across that?
Comment on this interview! Have your say on what falkor and Guinness Man were talking about : just click here |
Guinness Man: no I haven't
Guinness Man: what I do - I'm a member of the caravan club and I actually belong to the local centre
Guinness Man: the local centre is like a social club - it meets at a different place each weekend. It's family orientated for the most part and there are adult ones
that are suited to adults because of what's going on - that's not swapping or anything - that's because it's an evening meal and dinner and dance stuff like that that probably doesn't suit the children
then there are other things that are more family friendly, there something there for everyone. It's a good way of having a cheap weekend away
lot's of entertainment, kids are occupied in a safe environment because everyone seems to look out for everyone else and it's rather relaxing
falkor: and when your kids were a bit younger you had 3 different Rovers - the 2000 SC ....
Guinness Man: [interrupting] I had a 2000 a 2200 and a 3500S
falkor: well I know the last two were manuals because you can't have an auto 2200TC or an auto 3500S
falkor: what about the first one was that an auto?
Guinness Man: no that was a manual as well
falkor: you had three manuals?
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: why's that?
Guinness Man: I don't know
falkor: I love the autos!
Guinness Man: well since then most of my cars have been autos
falkor: oh have they?
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: because the 3500S that was like a prized manual because first of all when they kicked off with those cars they were ALL
automatics - for those V8 engines they didn't have a manual gear box man enough to take it on did they?
Guinness Man: no
falkor: do you remember all that?
Guinness Man: yes the 3500 auto was just the 3500 and the 3500S was denoted as the manual
falkor: oh that was the top dog that was
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: everyone wanted that one, everybody was after that 3500S because they thought that was absolutely ....
Guinness Man: [interrupting] it was quite economical as well really for the size of engine
falkor: really?
Guinness Man: I used to manage mid 20 mpg quite easily
falkor: yeah that was very good for those cars. I loved those cars but if you'd got the TC or the 3500S you got the
round dials didn't you?
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: but if you got the 2000 it was just the square long one
Guinness Man: with the square oblong guage
falkor: completely different instrumentation wasn't it?
Guinness Man: well you had full instrumentation in the TC and the 3500S
falkor: but if you had the 2000 there was no rev counter
Guinness Man: no just engine temperature and fuel
falkor: that was no good was it? [laughing]
Guinness Man: it did matter in those days it doesn't matter so much now [laughing]
falkor: [laughing] I gotta say I did love those cars and actually when British Leyland stopped making them New Zealand carried on did you know that?
Guinness Man: absolutely, that was the last real Rover in my eyes
falkor: were you in the Rover P6 club?
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: well I got the magazines through and it said if you still want a brand new Rover 2000 get one exported from New Zealand!
they were making them like mad, I don't know how long for
Guinness Man: no I don't
falkor: I was absolutely perplexed over that thinking should I do it?
Guinness Man: [laughing]
falkor: but you can still get some absolutely superb Rover 2000s nowadays can't you? if you really want one and can pay the money
Guinness Man: yes there's some good ones about
Guinness Man: there's two in the village actually where I live
falkor: oh that must be driving you mad!
Guinness Man: well one's laying in a field - keep looking at it thinking "shall I?"
falkor: yeah but it's a lot of work
Guinness Man: the other one's on the road and looks quite nice
falkor: nice one GM now I was going to ask you about Prospect because you've made a few comments about the union
Guinness Man: yeah
falkor: so you've got mixed feelings have you?
Guinness Man: not really. You can't blame the union for the things. Well you can blame them for some things but the union is only
as strong or as weak as its membership and if the members don't want something or there's not a clear cut majority then
the union can't really go forward and if it's that close then management know and they're going to push and push and
push until you either give or everyone jumps, so it's very much down to the membership
falkor: because I noticed that you posed a question "Has there been a union meeting at your outstation?" and I haven't seen
one word about a union meeting at any outstation
Guinness Man: well we've never had a union meeting at our outstation
falkor: that is wrong isn't it?
Guinness Man: it is wrong yes but I'm not going to knock shop stewards or whatever because it's a thankless task but if they're
going to take the job they should commit to it and do it properly
Guinness Man: there's very very little information if any comes via the shop steward
falkor: but the big thing about these union meetings at the outstations is that it's going to have to be in duty time
falkor: that's what all the others do
falkor: if you've got a union meeting you can go in duty time
falkor: do you agree?
Guinness Man: well it's impossible to get everyone in duty time I think but not everyone needs to attend
Guinness Man: if you've got a representative from each shift
falkor: [interrupting] oh fair enough yeah fair comment
falkor: well I'm in Surrey Police and joined Unison which I'm very glad I joined as I needed them within a few days of joining
but I've had 2 or 3 emails from them saying come to our AGM at Police HQ, it's in duty time
Guinness Man: it's not always that easy though
falkor: yeah but if you tell everybody that it's in duty time that's a big plus isn't it?
Guinness Man: and you can travel in the firm's motor possibly
falkor: you can travel in the firm's motor?
Guinness Man: well if you're on duty
falkor: but this would be at your own outstation
Guinness Man: it would be at ours but if you're out on patrol and the meeting's say at 10 o'clock half way through your shift ....
falkor: ah right I got you now
Guinness Man: so it's not costing you anything to even get there
falkor: no I've got to go along with that
falkor: now I did upload 4 Gerry Anderson videos to google, did you see any of them?
Guinness Man: no I haven't
falkor: one of them was Gerry Anderson's origins - do you remember him?
Guinness Man: I don't, no
falkor: you don't?
Guinness Man: I do remember Gerry Anderson yes
falkor: Which was your best one?
falkor: out of all his programs?
Guinness Man: well to be honest I never used to watch a lot of TV
falkor: oh you didn't?
Guinness Man: no I still don't
falkor: what did you do then?
Guinness Man: play games errr I was a bit unlucky I suppose because my mother died when I was quite young
falkor: oh dear
Guinness Man: I was looking after my younger brother and sister, I didn't really have a lot of time
falkor: crikey GM
Guinness Man: but that sounds worse than it is - I haven't had an awful life y'know but in my younger years I didn't have
a lot of time really
falkor: but when I put that post on and you came back with F.A.B. so you know about ...
Guinness Man: [interrupting] I have seen the odd programme don't get me wrong I haven't seen a whole series but I have seen "telly"
Guinness Man: I'm not one that's watched a lot of telly
falkor: you've had a very different sort of upbringing to what most people have had from the sound of it
Guinness Man: yeah but there's a lot of people worse off
falkor: that's a good way of putting it - I think we can all say that can't we?
Guinness Man: that's something to remember whenever you think life's against you, there's always some poor sod a lot worse off
falkor: it's a good way of keeping cheerful
falkor: moving on .... what about PNC checks, do Traffic Officers need them do you think?
Guinness Man: yeah I've had several done for me during my time with the HA
falkor: any problems over it?
Guinness Man: in what way?
falkor: delays, not able to do it, asking you why you want it
Guinness Man: occasionally you might be asked why or whatever
Guinness Man: sometimes the hairs just stand up on the back of your neck and funnily enough every time that's happened we've had a result for the BibS
falkor: but you said you'd only done 3 PNC checks the whole time you'd been a traffic officer
Guinness Man: yeah I probably have
falkor: that's not many is it?
Guinness Man: no actually I did one this week 'n all so there's four now
falkor: so you just need it like when you said when you absolutely like you said when you find that the hairs are standing up on the back of your neck then you gotta do it
Guinness Man: yeah I mean most of the time people are with their cars and I like to think that most of the time I
am a reasonable judge of people
falkor: yeah
Guinness Man: and I'm fairly gregarious by nature - y'know people are normally quite welcoming in the environment that we meet them
Guinness Man: they're not having the best of times at an accident, broken down or pulled over on the hard shoulder - they're not really sure who we are
I never claim to be a police officer and make it clear that I work for the Highways Agency
falkor: that's it, good idea
Guinness Man: I've only had one guy that's been aggressive and I made it clear to him what I expected of him behaviour wise and what have you.
If you make it clear where the boundaries are there's a lot less possibilities of things going wrong
Guinness Man: and the PNCs we've done have all given good results as well for the BiB
falkor: so that's alright then
Guinness Man: if it's not been the driver it's been the passenger that's been wanted or whatever
falkor: moving on swiftly do you do these double days or do you do night duty?
Guinness Man: I'm 24/7, I like to do the full range
falkor: so you got no problems from the missus saying oh I don't want you to night duty or anything
Guinness Man: no when we first met I was working shift work
Guinness Man: I've had a number of years working straight days - it's not something that's causing us any problems at all
falkor: well with the kids gone you've got that out of the way haven't you
Guinness Man: well they're still at home - it's just that they're old enough - y'know they're in their 20s so
Guinness Man: so there's no problems there really and they're company for mum they're in at night when she could have been
on her own if I'm not around
falkor: the only problem with night duty is at Christmas really isn't it? if you're doing night duty over Christmas
then that's not too clever is it?
Guinness Man: well you know what you're letting yourself in for and it's not every Christmas
falkor: and also if you do work it over Christmas you're getting a bumper pay packet next time round I suppose
Guinness Man: we don't
falkor: you don't? YOU'RE JOKING!
Guinness Man: no ... it's all in the wage
falkor: hold on a minute GM if you work a bank holiday that's double pay
Guinness Man: no no we get all our bank holidays to book
falkor: oh that is bad, I don't agree with that
Guinness Man: well we all knew what it was up front
falkor: I thought they had to pay you double time for a bank holiday by law
falkor: didn't you?
Guinness Man: I honestly don't know
falkor: so when you work a bank holiday, you get nothing for it in your pay packet
Guinness Man: no. Your whole rosta's set out and you're paid on your rosta - there's a certain amount in there for
weekend working and what have you. You get a 20% shift allowance for 24/7
falkor: have you worked many bank holidays GM?
Guinness Man: some of them yeah
falkor: which ones ? Easter or Christmas?
Guinness Man: I worked the New Year so there's a bank holiday
falkor: and you didn't get anything for it?
Guinness Man: no
falkor: I'm blown away by that, I really am
falkor: As you say it's all planned for - I've never heard of an organisation that turns round ...
Guinness Man: [interrupting] I think what's happened is that employing people like us was new for the HA, all their sort of people
were office based - all their project managers just work office hours but someone like us coming along shift work
24/7 it's totally new to them and I've been led to believe that what they've done is they've gone out and approached
other agencies seeking guidance as to what other areas get
falkor: oh I see
Guinness Man: and I would guess that someone said well there's this and this and this thinking well we'll play it down a bit
we don't want everyone knowing what we're getting or whatever and then the agency have come up with the package that
they've come up with. But that said, we all knew what it was when we applied for the jobs
falkor: it's in your contract?
Guinness Man: yes
falkor: fair enough okay I can't argue then
falkor: thanks very much for phoning up GM!
Guinness Man: that's no problem at all
falkor: thanks for being so persistent
falkor: thanks a lot, see you back on the site
Guinness Man: okay mate
Guinness Man: god bless you and goodbye
falkor: bye
interviews 2007: summary information
| # | site | member | interview date | GO TO | includes |
| 1 | national Traffic |  Race Track | 27.3.07 | V I E W | ever pressed the emergency button?
risk of litigation on RRBs
12½% shift allowance or 20% shift allowance
PITO | the site before NT
national-PCSOs early days
|
| 2 | national-PCSOs |  alihowe | 27.3.07 | V I E W | dogs and cats | street wardens | 3 litre Capri | Granada 2.8 Ghia
Lotus as a summer project
judo for PCSOs
going over to the dark side
heavy confrontation | actually doing crime reports |
| 3 | national-PCSOs |  GlynB | 27.3.07 | V I E W | UNISON PCSO working group
Drum and Bugle Corps | South Yorkshire Police Band
PCSOs can go onto age 65? | membership of UNISON
Met Police's PCSOs are gradually replacing Station Officers
lower pay for PCSOs? | zig zag lines
PCSOs being issued with batons etc |
| 4 | national Traffic |  mondeoman | 28.3.07 | V I E W | Gist logistics | Prospect, union
Police ride ons
verbal abuse in the course of your duties
the site before NT | we’ll be traffic police
get rid of all the PCSOs |
| 5 | national Traffic |  Tricky | 30.3.07 | V I E W | Major Incident Training
Dartford River Crossing Police
cooking | Accuracy Brevity and Clarity
Muttley in the hi-vis
French | spam | Dr Who
|
| 6 | national Traffic |  pongolad | 30.3.07 | V I E W | caravans | legless on the motorway
United Nations
Bosnia
TSCOs
tropical fish |
| 7 | national Traffic |  Keokeo | 31.3.07 | V I E W | the problem of passwords and usernames
firefox V IE | subMerged
H.A. model of Toyota Landcruiser
Silverstone grand prix | night security
maglite | driving instructor | CSMA | Blues Brothers
Bradford's media museum | a windy Thursday |
| 8 | national-PCSOs |  micky | 1.4.07 | V I E W | 'PCSO observers' | s59 seizing a car
offduty | 'pointless taxi productions'
challenging people to races
access to crimint and CRIS
PCSOs being posted to the front office
the 2004 survey! |
| 9 | national-PCSOs |  CIDB | 1.4.07 | V I E W | Kew Gardens 2005 | £80 PNDs
PCSO ANPR operator | seizing for no insurance
XBOX 360 | shoplifters
going to the gym 4 times a week
a power to detain, but without using force
UNISON | handcuffing someone |
| 10 | national Traffic | Guinness Man | 1.4.07 | V I E W | police rideons | incident support units
Traffic Officer grade assessors
caravanning
Rover TC and the Rover 3500S
union | bank holiday working |
| 11 | national Traffic |  TheWanderer | 30.3.07 | V I E W | WorldWidePolice | emergencyservicesonline
Dartford River Crossing Police
rollercoasters
YouTube and the motorway videos
cover shifts | John Child
car stickers and metal badges |
| # | site | member | interview date | GO TO | includes |
beard then we are left with the inescapable conclusion that this so called old mate of Guinness Man entered into a solubrious transaction locally referred to as 
